By: Stephanie of S2M

April 1st 2015

Let’s face it…your art is your love, but how do you make room and time for your significant other too?

10 Ways to make your lover your #1 fan


1. Honesty

Keep it real from the beginning. They need to know about your passion, ambition, and intentions before jumping in with both feet. If you express your clear path, odds are they won’t try to throw rocks in your way. Your lover just may be that helping hand you need to get you to where you want to be.


2. Boundaries

Everyone has personal laws which safe guard them. Maintain yours assertively if you don’t want your lover to walk all over you and your creative time. Be clear about your needs & listen carefully about theirs. Respecting each other is the key, but if you find yourself bending your laws a little too much, it’s not a likely match anyway.


3. Commitment

As you are networking you’ll come across a ton of people and personalities. You’ll find many who will take a greater interest in sleeping with you than those who care about your career. Your lover definitely won’t be blind to this. How committed you are in the relationship depends upon the boundaries established between the two of you. Never allow your lover to make assumptions about what is acceptable and what isn’t, and remember what is good for you may not be good for them.


4. Communication

Exchange your thoughts and feelings and talk about everything possible. Eliminate secrets and share information if you want this to be a lasting relationship. Try to understand your partner’s view point without comparing it to your own. If you’re on the road a lot remember to pack your vehicle phone charger so the lines of communication stay open. Relationships come in many forms, but every relationship requires mutual understanding.


5. Time

Yes the creative bug can hit you at any point in time, which can be extra frustrating for your lover. Be considerate of their feelings. If you have an event coming up, your lover should have a VIP seat. Likely they are your biggest fan anyway. Share a calendar which has all of your upcoming dates. Plug in some special date nights just for the two of you, that way there is no confusion about when, where, and what.


6. Inclusion

If your lover feels excluded they may fall astray, not because they don’t want to be with you, but because they may not feel important in your bigger picture. Give them an important task to make them feel like they are needed, and make them a direct part of your success.


7. Promises

Avoid being wishy-washy and try not to make promises you’re unsure you can actually commit to. You don’t want your lover to be constantly disappointed by the change in plans, and develop mistrust for your word, which can occur even if you have the greatest intentions.


8. Sex

Don’t neglect your lover in this department… ever.  There is always time for sex. If you can’t be there, you’ve heard of sexting right? Express how much you want to be there and any other dirty little fantasies you two may share. Leaving your lover hanging creates too much room for emptiness. Never leave them wondering if you may be spending time with someone else rather than them.


9. Parenting

If you get down the traditional way, remember sperm + egg = BABY. If you’re trying to find ways for your lover to co-exist in your world, you’re probably not ready to do your baby registry yet. Be sure to express your feelings on this issue early on, and then reinforce this conversation with another conversation later on, to be clear that your feelings on the matter haven’t changed. Take equal responsibility in birth control. If you both are using some form of prevention, your chances for playing Seth Rogan in Knocked Up, are pretty low.

You thought Knocked Up ended well and you wanted to try on a Greatest Parent tee shirt, OK, now is the time to revamp the plan. Talk about this with your lover and come up with a new plan to accomplish your goals. Otherwise you may get lost in the world of parenting and provisions. Build a support group which can assist you with child raising and caring. After all, it does take a village.


10. Ego

So the word is out and a lot of people think your art is awesome, woo hoo! You’re doing great, but is your lover? You’re getting a lot of attention from random strangers, but your lover is not. Reinforce your intent by making sure your actions reflect what you verbally express to your lover. Jealousy often comes from fear and resentment from anger. Show your lover they have nothing to worry about and keep your ego in check. You’re not great because people flock towards you; you’ve been great due to your incredible talents….. talents your lover has admired from the beginning.